I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
