the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
