from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
