So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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