he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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