I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
