As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
