you have to choose: penises or morals?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
