I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
