Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
