8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
