we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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