so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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