Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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