Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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