Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
