Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
