i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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