I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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