Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
