She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I believe in your delicious
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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