sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
