Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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