I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
