her facebook's as public as her vagina
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
