I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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