I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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