I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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