I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
