just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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