I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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