i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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