accomplished twins. life is a go
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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