He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
