you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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