I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
