So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
