they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
