i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
