I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
