i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
