covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
