So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
