i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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