I need help removing her.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
