Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
