i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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