Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
