cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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