He uses pillows to masturbate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
