didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
