I think im going to throw up on grandma
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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