"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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