You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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