Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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