How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
