He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
