I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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