she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
