You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
