You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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