Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
