So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
