So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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