Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you win again, gameday.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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