hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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