Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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