and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
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I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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