I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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