Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
