Small penises have feelings too.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
