I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
