Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
